Voldemort Goes to Anger Management
by foxxy-posse
Summary: FG and Tie-Die-Monkey are bringing in Voldemort and other characters for a much needed anger management session. It will include Harry, Ron, Draco, Lucius, Foxxy, and eventually Dances with Tacos and The Psycho!
1. Default Chapter

Foxxy's girl: 'Ello all FG and mah friend Tie 'ere!

Tie-Die-Monkey: Why are you talking in that funny accent?

FG: I have no clue.

Tie: Yeah....You're strange you know that?

FG: No, I'm just cool like that.

Tie: No, you're just strange.

FG: Hmph!

Tie: Oh come on you know you're strange....

FG: Yeah, well, so are you!

Tie: I know and I'm proud of it!

FG: ANYWAYS we're here to bring you...

Foxxy: Hey, you forgot me!

FG: No we didn't we were just hoping you would go away...

Foxxy: Hey, that was an insult wasn't it?

FG: No, it wasn't.

Foxxy: Yes, it was.

FG: No, it wasn't.

Foxxy: Yes, it was.

FG: Yes, it was.

Foxxy: No, it wasn't.

Tie: Exactly.

Foxxy: Huh?

Tie: Don't worry yourself Foxxy your little brain couldn't possibly understand adult conversation.

Foxxy: um....Okay?

FG: Now back to introductions....

FG: We're here to bring you VOLDEMORT GOES TO ANGER MANAGEMENT!!!

DISCLAIMER: FG and Tie do not own Harry Potter or Anger Management the movie. Oh, by the way, me and Tie are going by the nicknames our friends call us.

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( FG and Tie set on a couch in a psychiatrist's office waiting for their victims....er....guests to arrive.)

FG: So, Tie what do we have planned for our guests?

Tie: Don't you mean what are we going to do to our victims?

FG: Well, yes but hey, guests, victims they all look the same with the flesh burned off their skulls.

Tie: O.O You are one freaky cookie you know that?

FG: Sadly, yes. Anyway what are we going to do to them?

Tie: (Tie grins evilly)

FG: Uh oh I know that look.... That's the look you get whenever you've got a plan that always ends up with us getting our asses kicked somehow.... Damn, you've got another plan don't you?

Tie: Yup.

FG: Don't you remember what happened last time?

FLASHBACK

(This is what happened last time Tie came up with a plan.)

FG: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! I told you not to make them angry!!!!

Tie: Since when do I ever listen to you?!?!?!?

( Six nazi's along with Hitler run around the room with flamethrowers, knives, and rifles.)

Tie: Didn't you at least check for weapons?!?!?

FG: I thought their legs were naturally deformed!!!

Tie: Who ever heard of legs being deformed in the shape of flamethrowers and rifles?!?

FG: Well, who's bright idea was it to go back in time to give Hitler an anger management session?!?!?

Tie: WHO'S BRIGHT IDEA WAS IT TO BUILD A TIME MACHINE IN THE FIRST PLACE?!?!?!?!?

FG: JUST SHUT UP AND RUN!!!!!!!!

END FLASHBACK

Tie: Well, that's why the government took away our time machine.

FG: Yep and it's a pity.

Tie: Well, they should be here any second now...

( The door to the psycho's...um....psychiatrist's office opens and in walks Voldemort, Lucius, Harry, Draco, Ron, and Foxxy.)

FG: FOXXY?!? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!?!?!?

Foxxy: I lost my temper.

Tie: Well, duh this is Anger Management. What she means is who did you lose your temper with?

Foxxy: Mrs. Z gave too much homework and I killed her.

(FG and Tie's jaws drop)

FG: You killed a teacher??

Tie: You killed Mrs. Z??

FG and Tie: YAY!!!!!!!

Voldemort: Foolish muggles, just hurry up and get this over with.

Harry: For once I agree with Voldemort at this Ron flinches let's get this over with so we can have our duel to the death and decide the fate of wizardkind.

Tie: Now, now children there will be no killling here.

Foxxy: Why?

Tie: Because I said so.

Foxxy: Why?

Tie: Because FG and I are the bosses here.

Foxxy: Why?

FG: Don't bother Tie, Foxxy's in one of his moods

Tie: Oh no...

FG: Yep, this is going to take awhile......

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FG: Well, that was fun.

Foxxy: Hey! What's going to happen to me?

Tie: Well you'll just have to wait and find out like everyone else, won't you?

Please review!


	2. Goosfraba

Foxxy's girl: Hi! Tie and I are back again!

Tie-die-monkey: You have to wonder if that's a good thing or not, ya?

FG: Don't say ya Tie it doesn't suit you.

Tie: sticks tongue out at FG

FG: Right back to ya!

Tie: mumbles under breath and you say ya sounds bad when I say it....

FG: What was that?!

Tie: Oh, nothing....much.

FG: Why I oughta...

Tie: Oughta what? Huh? Huh?

FG: Beat you and get on with the story.

Tie: GRRRRRRRR....

Foxxy: OY! Stop fighting and get on with the story!

FG and Tie: FINE!

**DISCLAIMER:** Tie, FG, and Foxxy do not own Harry Potter or Anger Management the movie.

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FG: Gather round, gather round...

Tie: And witness the awesome power of...

FG and Tie: FG and Tie-Die-Monkey!!! (FG and Tie do victory signs as confetti falls from the ceiling)

Everyone except Foxxy, FG, and Tie look on very, very, very confused.

Draco: Are you two on drugs?

FG: What kind of drugs?

Draco: The kind of drugs that make you high.

Tie: The only high we're on is sugary(sp?).

Draco: Stupid muggles.

FG: Who ever said we were muggles?

Draco: YOU MEAN YOU'RE WITCHES?!?!?!?!

Tie: Maybe....

FG: Maybe not....

FG and Tie: If we are you'll never know!

FG: Wait....

Tie: Actually....

FG and Tie: Yes, you will!

Ron: Will you stop finishing each other's sentences? It's creepy.

FG: Duh. Why do you think we do it in the first place?

Ron: To annoy us?

Tie: Exactly.

FG: We enjoy getting on people's nerves. We find it funny.

Harry: (Whispers to Ron) We're supposed to be in anger management with them?

Ron: (Whispers back to Harry) I guess but I don't think that _we're _the ones who need anger management...

Harry: (Whispers back to Ron) Yeah, I reckon you're right, mate.

FG: HEY! NO WHISPERED CONVERSATIONS IN THIS ROOM UNLESS THEY'RE BETWEEN TIE AND ME! UNDERSTAND!?!?!?!?

Harry and Ron: Yes Ma'am!

Ron: (Whispers to Harry) See what I mean, mate?

Harry: (Whispers back to Ron) Yeah I see alright.

FG: WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!?!?!?

Ron: No whispered conversations unless it's between you and Tie.

Harry: Wow, Ron, I think Hermione's rubbing off on you.

Ron: (grins)

FG: I don't care who the hell Hermione is BUT YOU WILL LISTEN TO US! UNDERSTAND EVERYONE?!?!?!?!?

Tie: Good, now if you'll all have a seat...

FG takes out her wand and waves it and there are suddenly and six chairs suddenly appear out of nowhere.

Draco: See, I knew you were a witch!

FG: Well woop-de-doo. Want a cookie?

Draco: Yeah, actually.

FG: Too bad! You're not getting one!

Tie: Everyone just sit down!!

Voldemort, Lucius, Draco, Harry, Ron, and Foxxy all sit in front of FG and Tie who are still sitting on the couch.

FG: Alrighty now, since we all know why Foxxy's let's see why the rest of you are here!

Voldemort: Must you be so happy about it?

Tie: It looks like we have a volunteer! Tell us why your here Lord Moldy-shorts!

FG, Harry, Foxxy, and Ron: (trying to keep their faces straight but failing miserably)

FG, Harrry, Foxxy, and Ron: (burst out laughing)

FG: Tie, are you aware that you just called the most powerful dark wizard there is Lord Moldy-shorts? (bursts out laughing again)

Tie: (mutters under breath) Well at least I didn't say his name sounds like wart remover

FG, Harry, Foxxy, and Ron laugh harder than ever.

FG: Tie, hate to tell you but you just did.

Tie: Oh....OH HELL!

Voldemort A/N Moldy-shorts for those of you slow on the uptake coughashton2hottcough : CRUCIO!!

Tie: AHHHHHHhhhhh....huh? Uh Moldy I think you're wand is defective....'Cuz I don't feel anything.

FG: That's because the only magic that works here is ours.

Foxxy: Why?

FG: Because this is Anger Management.

Tie: Uh huh, so that's why I'm not in unimaginable pain right now?

FG: Yep.

Tie: How?

FG: I put up wards around the room so Voldemort (Ron flinches) couldn't torture us.

Tie: So I can insult him as much as I want and he won't be able to do anything?

FG: Easy there Tie he still has his minion.

Lucius: You say that like it is a bad thing.

Tie: IT IS!!

Lucius: IS NOT!

Tie: IS TOO!

Lucius: IS NOT!!

FG: STOP YOU'RE BICKERING! YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A BUNCH OF CHILDREN!!!!

Tie and Lucius: (both gulp and shutup)

FG: Now, Voldemort, oh stop flinching Ron, would you care to tell us why you're here?

Voldemort: It is my life mission to purge the world of the filth known as mudbloods.

FG: Boy am I glad I'm a pureblood.

Ron, Harry,and Lucius jump up.

Ron: ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS IS MUGGLEBORN YOU HAD BETTER TAKE THAT BACK YOU SICK, SNAKE-LIKE PSYCHOPATH!!!

Lucius: How dare you speak to my master like that! CRUCIO!!!

Ron: YOU IDIOT DON'T YOU REMEMBER FG AND TIE SAYING THAT MAGIC DOESN'T WORK HERE!?!?

Lucius: OF CORSE I REMEMBER THEM SAYING THAT! I WAS JUST HOPING THAT WHATEVER SPELL SHE CAST WAS JUST TEMPORARY!

Tie: HEY! SIT DOWN, SHUT UP, AND LISTEN TO ME!

Harry, Ron and Lucius immediately obey.

Tie: Okay, now say this with me goosfraba, goosfraba....

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FG: Hee Hee another chapter done!

Tie: We would like to take this time to thank our lovely two reviewers

Foxxy: A huge thanks to_ AsAngel _here's your update!

Dances with Tacos: And a thank you to _Anon Junky _We hope you still think we're interesting!

FG: Woah Tacos you're not supposed to be in this story till next chapter!

Tie: You just ruined our suprise!

Dances with Tacos: I so did not you two put me in the summary!

FG: Oh yeah guess we did...

Tie: We're just slightly absent-minded when it comes to stuff like that...

Foxxy: Anyway please review and we'll see you next chapter!


End file.
